Lots of anxiety. Lots. I think at this point I am more nervous about the excision than the biopsy results... one day at a time and surgery day is just about here. ugh!
The problems I am worried about is where it's located, my upper left thigh, inner upper left thigh basically where my leg meets my groin. Not even sure if it will be charted as a groin or thigh removal at this point. Such a sensitive area, so I think its going to be extremely sore, yikes...it's already bothersome and that's before the removal! Then trying to keep it clean so it doesn't get infected is going to be another task. It will make going to the bathroom a tedious chore, especially with my bladder issues :(
Just want it to heal with no issues...I will probably be walking like I was riding a horse so I don't pull on stitches. lol. I am just emotionally tired and keep getting bad headaches these past few days, wake up with really painful ones daily lately. It's gotta be stress, I think.
I tend to think a lot and worry a lot. That's me. These fears and concerns are real for me. I know many have it worse but it doesn't mean I can't be allowed to feel what I feel. Many might not even know what I feel (haven't shared this blog with family and friends, yet). I make it hard too, for people to understand , as I have a hard time being expressive. I am very reserved and keep a lot in. I am crying so bad on the inside right now...I just want this over with and to know the results of it as well. I want to stick around and enjoy more days of blue skies, flowers, photography, and my dogs. I don't want to leave my husband and son. One aunt, who is going through her own battle, said if it's cancer, fight like a girl! That's what I will do.
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