after surgery care....stinks!

The care to take care of surgical excision has not been easy regardless of what some may think! Not at all for me anyhow. My excision site could be in possible one of the worst spots! Hate to complain but it really has been awful. There is one person who really knows, that's helped me change bandages, and that's my loving husband.

I was feeling guilty for the two weeks off from work to make sure this heals properly...possibly could have worked out some type of light duty (up to 8 pounds) but it's just too much between walking up or down any stairs, standing on feet long periods, sitting long periods and using the bathroom when needed.... I would regret going to work without a doubt.

 If I have to go to bathroom and the bandage gets wet or something, then I am going to try and change my bandage in a dirty bathroom stall, uh, no, I don't think so! Got to wash area well, then apply the special antibiotic prescription cream, cut gauze strip, cut tape and tape it in place all around. With my bladder issues, that could be at least a few times at work.

 I just don't feel guilty tonight, yesterday, yes I felt guilt, but if others were going through the same, they would choose home instead of work, too. It's not really healed well yet, which is kinda a worry. It goes from looking good to awful again. :(

The care is as follows in general for mole excision surgery:


Home care 

After the procedure, you need to keep a layer of antibiotic salve and a bandage on the wound. Use an antibiotic ointment that does not include neomycin. Many people are allergic to neomycin and may develop a rash at the site. Polysporin is a brand that does not contain neomycin. (Yes, I have developed sensitive red skin in the whole area...soreness)

Clean the wound once or twice daily with either water or diluted hydrogen peroxide.

After cleaning the wound, apply the antibiotic salve and bandage. (Not easy, bending to reach the area to apply all this)
This is repeated (2 weeks+) the wound is healed.

Misconceptions about healing

Some people think that wounds need to be open to the air and that this helps healing. Several studies have disproved this and found significantly quicker healing with bandages and antibiotic salve.

Similarly, vitamin E has been found to slow healing rather than accelerate it, and scars were shown to be worse with vitamin E placed directly on wounds than without it.

Next Steps

Simple mole removals are frequently not followed up, but this may vary depending on the type of mole.
(especially if it turns out to be cancer...ugh)

For lab results: You may receive a phone call from the doctor if there is any indication of unusual features once the tissue is analyzed. Then you would see the doctor for a follow-up recheck of the area and full examination of the rest of your body. (and for some chemo type of topical cream that burns off layers of your surrounding skin, once it's healed of course, approx within 2 months, can start the cream that makes everything sore and bloody all over again)

For stitches removal: Follow-up depends on the area that received stitches and the type of suture. Facial sutures are typically removed within 4-7 days. Stitches elsewhere (that's me) are usually removed from 8-21 days, depending on the type of suture and the surgeon’s preference.

To prevent infection: During the time of the recovery, you need to be careful not to get the area dirty. Also, trauma needs to be avoided to the area, including avoidance of unnecessary stress and strain to the area. (hence, what I do at my job)

Healing (warning, stitches pic)

Feel like these darn things have been in forever, ugh. Very tender and sore but looks like its ok, I guess.

Finally went out to dinner tonight, after 6 days in the house. Also, spent some quality time with one of my besties tonight for coffee. Friend therapy is just what I needed. Had my second shower, since the surgery, today. Plan on going back to work next week doing light duty stuff I think. Have to talk to my boss. Just about finished a week though, one more to go with these darn things.

 What a pain in the butt to live with, I tell ya! Going to the bathroom is tricky, going up and downstairs tugs and pulls being in the crease of inner thigh/groin....everything I do, I can feel the pressure or pull down there. Trying to get in and out of the car is fun too...not.

Thanks for letting me whine....sorry but yes, for anyone interested in what skin cancer is all about, I must post more ugly pics...here are the stitches.

Biopsy results not sitting well

The resident doctor called today to give me my pathology results thus far, though she is still looking at the slides??!!  She was very surprised with the results as she said it looked like nothing from the beginning, "totally benign,"she said bluntly during surgery (training on me). "Hmmm, I'm not surprised at all that it's a form of skin cancer as I know my own body," I thought to myself.

She said it's squamous cell cancer. Said it's great I saw it and caught it early and that they removed the entire lesion. The diagnosis feels off to me. I will explain:

From the first visit to just look at the mole till now, they have all been off in their thinking that it's nothing and called it something else at first, then the first doc actually used a dermascope (the one who scheduled surgery after looking at it through the dermascope) and changed his thought on what it was and said it was then a nevus. So, now why aren't they listening to me, seriously?

It IS a nevus mole. Its been there for as long as I can remember and was brown , roundish and had a pale skin colored middle. I have compared it to hundreds and hundreds of photos online too. There was no texture, it was smooth and pigment of my skin. I wish I had a photo of my mole originally years ago, before it grew and changed, to show them. Thats another reason I think its possible amelanotic due to the fact that the middle of my original mole had no pigment and if the melanoma cancer started there it might have followed same path of no dark pigmented cells as it grew? Not sure if this last sentence is possible but thought I would add that in here.
 I truly believe this could be a rarer melanoma called amelanotic. I cant help but in my gut to make sure they check into it, do the tests for it using special protein stains on the slides. It wouldnt hurt and I will feel better if they rule that out. It does not resemble Squamous Cell Carcinoma, and its EXTREMELY rare for squamous cell cancer to start from a nevus. It just doesn't really fit the diagnosis.

I am not a confrontational person by nature, pretty much a pushover but I just cant let this go. Its a fact that amelanotic melanomas have been misdiagnosed by some of the best pathologists as Squamous cell cancer and I dont want to chance my life unless they are positive by doing an actual test for amelanotic cells.

I may be a bit overboard on googling stuff but it is a real possibility that just shouldn't be overlooked. Not something as serious as this....It could be a matter of life and death here. Ok, I am getting a bit emotional now, but all I want is to be sure so I know I will be getting the proper treatment I need for it. Any skin cancer is just not good, if it had to be one or the other I would choose squamous cell of course over melanoma.

to be continued soon.....

Here are some more pics of it over the past several weeks as a changed mole....

How cute are these?

At home still healing from my excision in my groin area...a little sore. Hard to take care of this being in the spot its in but managing my best :)
Instead of gross stitches photos, maybe on another post lol, here are my cute Puppy Dog slippers i mentioned in a latter post.
They really are cute and comforting! TY mom.

Hours after, it's been brutal...

The day finally arrived .. Had my excision surgery this morning. The surgeon was so nice... She looked at my mole/lesion again to decide if in fact she wanted to do the surgery, just to make sure and she decided what the first dermatologist set me up for, complete removal. Thank God its done but omg dont know if I would do it again in this area!
OUCH.... Not the surgery though.. Surgery was fine, numbed up good and took about an hour on operating table. Ouch with the aftercare. It's been difficult to walk without too much pressure and rubbing, lying down and sitting up both are uncomfortable. So sensitive, swollen and just not a fun spot to care for :(

I was bleeding still through the gauze, decided to change it since it was pretty bloody, even though it was recommended to wait till the next day. Too worried about a stitch having been loose or something so had to do it. With help from my poor hubby of course. Both of us got so weak and woozy just thinking about changing it... Actually changing it was not fun, too! Took acetominophen for the pain. Lots of sharp pinches and sore now. She said there are lots of nerves in the area where they excised.
Used the prescription antibiotic topical ointment Mupirocin. Can't lift anything more than 5-8 pounds and shouldnt bend etc... Too much to worry about. Nine stitches total 3 inside and 6 outside. Go back in two weeks for removal. Can't do much at work, longer than planned. Oh boy, hate to have to tell them.

20 hours to go......

Lots of anxiety. Lots.  I think at this point I am more nervous about the excision than the biopsy results... one day at a time and surgery day is just about here. ugh!

The problems I am worried about is where it's located, my upper left thigh, inner upper left thigh basically where my leg meets my groin. Not even sure if it will be charted as a groin or thigh removal at  this point. Such a sensitive area, so I think its going to be extremely sore, yikes...it's already bothersome and that's before the removal! Then trying to keep it clean so it doesn't get infected is going to be another task. It will make going to the bathroom a tedious chore, especially with my bladder issues :(

Just want it to heal with no issues...I will probably be walking like I was riding a horse so I don't pull on stitches. lol. I am just emotionally tired and keep getting bad headaches these past few days, wake up with really painful ones daily lately. It's gotta be stress, I think.

I tend to think a lot and worry a lot. That's me. These fears and concerns are real for me. I know many have it worse but it doesn't mean I can't be allowed to feel what I feel. Many might not even know what   I feel (haven't shared this blog with family and friends, yet). I make it hard too, for people to understand , as I have a hard time being expressive. I am very reserved and keep a lot in. I am crying so bad on the inside right now...I just want this over with and to know the results of it as well. I want to stick around and enjoy more days of blue skies, flowers, photography, and my dogs. I don't want to leave my husband and son.  One aunt, who is going through her own battle, said if it's cancer, fight like a girl! That's what I will do.

Six more days...

The week of my mole removal is finally coming up... I feel this strong "nesting" instinct...gotta prepare, gotta get ready! Must clean the house, must buy some loose sweatpants that won't rub against the excision area and stitches. I must make sure my mother's blood pressure pills will be enough to last her until I am up and about again...maybe I should refill just in case.. I must do this, must do that... geez, its not like I am having open-heart surgery or anything, I really need to breathe... surgery just scares me, what can I say. I think its knowing that this can go either way afterwards, might be that all will be good, biopsy will come back fine, or all hell will break loose if its malignant, ugh! Hopefully taking care of my little wound afterwards will keep me preoccupied while waiting for the pathology report.

On a happier note: My mom got me some adorable doggie slippers for my post surgery recovery around the house. I will post a pic of them this week. They put a smile on my face.

I have been waiting for this to finally happen and to be over with but now I feel, all of the sudden, like I am not prepared yet....well, It's time to get prepared!!!

Now, onto a gory reality: This is an example of what my surgery will consist of...the same type/shape of excision except mine will be in a very sensitive spot- the inner thigh/groin area :(
I warn ya, Its not an easy video to watch, its surgery. Surgeries aren't exactly pretty.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=lcsLn9VkKMg

Gettin uglier... :(

Well, to add to this crazy end of the year mole scare, my hubby now has to have a biopsy as well for a spot on his back thats like a little scab, it's reddish/pink and gets really itchy on him. He's had this irregular shaped patch on his back bothering him for about two years now, maybe a little less.
He might have it scraped or some cut out, depending on what his Dr. thinks. Could be something like his mom had on her face, maybe basal cell or squamanous or even Melanoma. I am going to guess its not Melanoma though. I hope we both can put this behind us soon. I am glad he's finally having it checked as I said he should a year ago! I think my dermatologist visit and biopsy got him to think.

Hubby's weird skin lesion/mole above

mine measures over the 6mm, not a good sign.

My friends know I Google a lot, Google everything. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to making myself worry...

Mine is protruding out and I hope to freakin God its benign. Please pray with me.. I am so nervous, scared, and freaked. If its not benign, I am petrified it will turn out to be this type of Melanoma.... I need to find positivity and its so hard while waiting and watching this horrible thing on me change.
The moles on this link are similar to what my nevus looks like :(

Here is the link to info on Nodular Melanoma :
http://www.skin-cancer-experiences.com/nodular-melanoma.html

This is how I feel....

Saw this floating around the internet and facebook and couldn't have said it better, love it! Woodstock and Snoopy are pretty darn cute too ;)
It is how I feel inside...scared and worried of this upcoming biopsy.
Knowing people care is comforting, especially as I am petrified right now.

Rough night...

I planned to go to a friend's night out but honestly, I just can't bring myself to "try and have fun" when I am feeling this anxiety. My feelings are real, not an excuse, I am sorry, but I do feel stuff, too. I love 'em and I am sure they will understand, eventually, after the disappointment. I am emotionally (and physically) tired and just want to veg for awhile. I guess I should clue them in on whats going on with me? I will soon but feel they have their own emotional stuff to deal with, as its been a rough year for them....
So, tonight was very difficult. I came to terms with how scared I am and how serious this could turn out to be...cried & freaked out a lot :(
It all started when I read another incredible blog of a man, Father and husband with stage lV Melanoma. His mole before removal resembled mine. I feared I waited too long on this. I should have made that appt last year when my doctor said to!
The part that really upset me is his wife took over the blog in the end, as he didnt make it, he fought a hard almost two year battle of this nasty cancer but it was just too invasive :(
I have read many blogs of Melanoma survivors and many of those who passed away but this guy's blog just punched me right in the gut tonight. Seeing his mole posted before all of his surgery was what really hit me.
Not many blogs show their original moles before the biopsy, probably because they never thought they would have to start a blog about it, so never took pics. They might never realized a mole could be cancerous and deadly until after their biopsies.
His was a small little odd mole as mine. Looked extremely similar to mine, which has panicked me. Its hard to believe something as small as this can kill.

I feel family and friends just dont understand how serious it can be. Its a potential deadly cancer if it turns out to be malignant and not caught in time. People think that one's fear about this is exaggerated, but its really not.

Many people disregard skin cancer as just a mole removal and all is supposedly well again. Tell that to those families who lose a loved one from Melanoma cancer every hour in the United States.
Its such an aggressive cancer and can spread so fast through the entire body. It can metastisize and end up in the brain and lungs... This is what malignant melanoma tends to do, thats why yearly / monthly CT's and PET scans are done. Scary as can be! You might even be fine after surgeries and special chemo treatments ( as it doesnt respond to typical chemo and radiation as other cancers do) for years then it can just pop up again even worse usually when it comes back and the fight is harder than ever.
I have learned so much and feel so much for all cancer patients, and especially feel bad of how melanoma is not out there enough in the public for people to understand. Its barely talked about. Its deadly and must be caught early!!
The public must take it seriously as with any other cancer.

I will do better tomorrow I am sure, each day brings new fears but its the waiting thats getting to me now. I just hope to hear when this is all over that it's benign. I never thought I would be in this scary situation. Whenever I heard that dermatologist change his tone of voice after looking closely at my mole, and then said if its not benign, i will be needing more surgery, well that was a bit overwhelming!... I really hate surgery!

Its no longer just an ugly mole, its something the dermatologist took serious enough to want to remove the entire thing for a biopsy :(

Surgery moved up a week :(

Got a call Tuesday am, apparently the surgeon came in and looked at her schedule and saw she was booked for surgeries on Friday (Black Friday, day after turkey day). She can't keep those surgeries as she will be out of town. So they pushed my surgery up to the following Friday, November 30th. I had it all set at work, did the necessary paperwork and was approved, had to go back in and redo.

Another week added now of anxiety. In the meantime this ugly mole is doing its repetitive change. Does its weird growth and ulcerates, then crusts a bit, and repeats..... Here are some recent pics, though they are kinda gross, it's important and helps anyone who has a similar looking mole. Looking at people's blogs and pics have helped me in a way, so I feel I should share as well during this mole "scare".

Notice the dark irregular border (used to be just a roundish border with no elevated middle part)

a recent ulceration again, with crusting and oozing, many colors are seen

This is when it grows and becomes a tad sore before ulcerating. The borders have definitely over the

past few months become more irregular. 

This ugly "nevus" will be saying bye, bye soon...

Well, Election day was the day of my dermatologist appointment. I voted.. didn't vote for surgery, but I'm going under the knife anyhow (in a couple of weeks).

Actually, it's a good thing...as this prob should be removed and biopsied like the doctor said. The dermatologist at first thought it could be a seborrheic keratosis but then when he looked using the dermascope, he didn't like the edges of the Nevus, he now decided to call it, and the coloring of the middle raised area had his concern... He then said he wanted to schedule surgery and have the entire mole along with a margin of skin around it removed by an excision and a biopsy will be done to see if it's benign. Scary stuff. If it turns out to be more, not benign, then additional surgery will be needed but he said we will wait until the  pathology reports come back to discuss that, if needed.

Now the hard part - getting a week off from work following the surgery. It will be right after turkey day, so it might not go over well but what can I do? I have plenty of sick leave, just never asked for a week of sick time before. With the incision being in the area its in, the inner thigh where the leg connects to the body, it will be a sensitive surgery that will be very sore afterwards and has higher chance of infection. Also, lifting and crouching on my job can cause stitches to tear.... doctor's orders are to take a week off from work after the surgery and to take it easy around the house. He was funny and said it will be a good time to relax and write out Christmas cards, organize my sock drawer, lol... nothing strenuous.

This could turn out to be all ok (prayin), but just being this close to a cancer scare has made me think about a lot.... I really feel for all who are fighting Melanoma and other cancers. The blogs and tributes I have read are heartbreaking, as well as inspiring to never give up. Life is too short.
 I connected with a woman recently after reading her blog... I asked her advice, via email, and her sincere from the heart reply was incredibly touching. I got watery-eyed to know someone who doesn't know me at all, reached out like that. There are really wonderful, caring people in this world!

will be posting again soon...take care all,
Patty

This is how the mole looked a day before my derm appt....it was in its flatter stage after doing the crust over again. Starting to grow again now.

less than 21 hours to go....

a day before the appointment and now I am like maybe it's not so bad?? Who knows. Still just trying to figure it out. Feel like maybe I am just a crazy nut for even worrying about it....was I making a mountain out of a mohill... prob because appointment is so close and not sure if the dermatologist is going to be caring or look at me like I am nuts. So much going through my head now.

The spot bled a bit and the bump went down but it will be back again as it keeps doing. Just hope he doesn't totally shrug it off without maybe doing a biopsy. We shall see. Whatever it is, it's annoying now and can be very uncomfortable. So something needs to be done.

Will update tomorrow after the appointment to let ya know how it goes.

4 more days....

Four more days till I see a dermatologist. It's looking not so "mean" today. Some sites do say it changes a lot as your body's immune system is trying to conquer it. Not sure just how true this is but it makes sense.

Just wish the appt. would get here and be over with, feel sick to my stomach with thinking "is it or isn't it?" Just need this to waiting to end now. Had enough.

The ABCDE's are not pretty....

     Hope these 3 images don't gross anyone out but this is how the mole has evolved over the past few months. It's just awful. It honestly used to be always a flat discoloration on my skin, brown edges and lighter skin tone in the middle looking mole. It was easily seen though, not very light.  Looked more like a mole with more of a round shape. Now it's ugly as can be and the dark brownish edges are stretching outwards, not as round any longer. It is worrying me to no end lately.

    If this just appeared out of the blue on my skin when nothing was there before, I wouldn't be as concerned... I would write it off as an infected wart or something, but this was always a mole so it's very scary and I think I have a right to be afraid at this point. Maybe my concern will all be for nothing but it certainly taught me a lot about checking my skin and if there is a next time to not to wait so long to be seen by a specialist.

All the ABCDE's of what to look for in a mole that possibly could be Melanoma are there....

I hope it turns out to be just a Melanoma look-a-like :( 

                    (sorry for poor quality pics, taken with an iphone and not the easiest spot to get to)

learning from a spot on my skin...

I wanted to start a blog of my "scary spot" to help others be aware of how important it is to get yourself checked if you know something just isn't right.

I am not sure of what my spot exactly is yet, but I have researched and learned so much about how invasive skin cancer can be by spreading to your lymph nodes and other organs and just how serious and deadly it is (stressing myself out to say the least) while waiting on a dermatologist appt. Who would ever think a mole can be that bad?! I really hope my ugly evolving lesion turns out to be nothing.

There are so many informative blogs out there on this subject written by incredible fighters and survivors of Melanoma and other skin cancers and these courageous people inspired me to make a blog as well of my scary journey to the dermatologist. I will probably not be as informative as others as I am still learning but I will be honest and I hope to help you make that decision to get yourself checked if something is different or if a mole you have had for many years has decided to change and grow.
It could turn out that my spot is not cancerous... but I still think it's very important to tell everyone, if you have a suspicious spot on your skin, to make an appointment with a dermatologist just to be sure!

My story of this frightening spot:

     I have had a weird looking spot on my skin on my upper left inner thigh near the underwear line for a very long time.  I think the first time I noticed it was about 12+ years ago. I thought it was so strange looking that during a regular pap appointment I decided to say something to the doctor doing the routine exam...I asked him if this is anything I should worry about. I remember him well, he was filling in for another doctor, just a young kinda arrogant guy, I think he was a practitioner actually, not a doctor. He replied "It doesn't look angry." I will never forget that reply, especially now.

    No, it probably wasn't angry, but it was strange...kind of like an ink spot spatter, brown edges and lighter pink, skin color in the middle. Flat, not raised. Almost looked like a slight burn discoloration or something of that nature to me. I thought maybe it was from one of my two cervical surgeries to remove pre-cancerous cells many years ago, and I just noticed it. Thought maybe one of the doctors who used the laser or freeze instrument (had both types of surgery) for the removal of some of my cervix cells accidentally brushed by my thigh area, who knows. Maybe it's possible?

     All I know is that it was an odd looking flat ink stain type of "mole". Now that I have researched on the subject and learned more, I would guess it was an atypical dysplastic nevus (dermatologists use the words “atypical nevus” to describe a mole that does not look like a normal mole). I wish I had taken a photo of it years ago of how it looked originally, only recently now that it's changing and scaring me, have I taken pics of it.

Fast forward to now, well, to at least a year ago. I had a physical with a new doctor (had skipped a few years of doctors visits, ooops) and she noticed the spot right away and said I should see a dermatologist and after the physical we will have to set the appointment up. I was not even concerned as I have had this for so long but said ok. Unfortunately, knowing now how serious it could be, we should have followed through with making that appointment!
After the doctor's routine physical, she was concerned with other issues I was having and we both kinda forgot about setting that dermatologist appointment. I have had ongoing issues last year and this year with blood in my urine, frequent urination, and low platelets and low red blood cell counts, and have had many different tests done with bladder and kidneys. Hopefully these issues aren't related to the spot in anyway, that probably would not be good.

    This summer's physical, I re-showed her my "mole" due to the fact this year it has grown and is raised or elevated so to speak. A tad bothersome too, can feel it more. I have had other side symptoms that possibly could be related (but still haven't told my doctor), such as swollen inguinal lymph nodes, and swollen lymph nodes at the base of my skull in back below the ears. I am always quite fatigued and achey all over like a constant bit of the flu or something. Just don't have the energy people my age around me seem to have (in my mid forties).
     So I showed her and she said "why did we not make that appointment last year?!" She said she wants me to be seen within a couple of weeks by a dermatologist because it looks funny and it's in a dark area that gets no sun so it is concerning.
     I waited a couple of weeks and received a voicemail from a receptionist telling me that my appointment was for the next day and it was during my work hours. I couldn't get the day off that quick being a day before, so I had to call and re-scheduled my appt. Not the best idea and I should have just called in sick and went then. Kicking myself now. The appointment they made was for August 31 and the earliest re-schedule I could get was for November 6th. The spot is still changing and is not looking any better, it looks worse. It started to ulcerate as it elevated, bleeds a tad then crusts over and regrows and repeats the process now.
     
       As that doctor guy said many years ago, it doesn't look angry, I say now it's furious!